Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

Friday, December 19, 2008

Cookie Swap - A Rant

This rant is actually about food!

My wife went to a cookie a swap last night. She made macaroons the night before. Not my favorite cookie, but I do like the crispy ones. I'm just not a coconut fan. She took three dozen and of course they exchange them for everyone else's tasty treats. She came home with three dozen various cookies.

Well almost three dozen.

#1 Raw oatmeal mixed in melted chocolate and allowed to cool on wax paper into some type of brown, but tasty, turd, is NOT a f@$ing cookie.

#2 Buckeyes, as much as I LOVE them (the treats not the fans) are candies, sweets or treats but NOT f@$!ing cookies.

#3 Finally, if you don't make your own cookies to take to a cookie swap, you are a loser, lame and I have no respect for you. And no, Pillsbury Bake-N-Break does NOT f!#%ing count. You have to put some effort into it and do homemade. Otherwise just take Oreos. You had a month's notice. you had enough time. I didn't think my wife would have time. I offered to bake her some cookies to take but she said no and did it herself. If she had time, anyone has time.

Pathetic.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Corn Syrup

One problem I have is too much free time, or more correctly, too much free mental time. Gets me in trouble a lot. I can think myself into a depressive funk. I also spend a lot of time thinking about arcane stuff. For example, corn syrup.

I'm talking about regular corn syrup, not HFCS. More on that later. My fascination comes from its historic use in sweets and candies, neither of which I cook much of. But I have this love of history. And food. And science. So I am fascinated about how and why an ingredient is used and what it does.

So I started doing some searching because I know it is more than just a sugar substitute. I needed to kill some time in hotel rooms this week anyway.

But the Internet is a really dangerous place to learn stuff. I still remember my first engineering class how we were instructed to vet our sources and how to be able to determine whether a source we referenced was a credible "good" source or not. I've been taught how to do this and it has been drummed into my head. On the great WWW though, 99.9% of people have not been taught this and it shows. Here for example is a forum post I found.

Most of the comments here a junk. For example the back and forth blending of "corn syrup" and "high fructose corn syrup" being the same. They're not. Even more egregious is this statement: "Candy did not traditionally contain corn syrup in the past, as this is a relatively new ingredient." And look how many concur. No, NO, NO, NO!

Let's define relatively new. High Fructose Corn syrup was developed in the 1950s. That's relatively new. Of yeah, I should site a reference. Wikipedia is good for general knowledge but it is by no means a credible source (in this case note the wiki-author has the date wrong). A university is usually a credible source; here's a report from Rose Hulman University, page 3. Also note that major industrial use did not occur until after the 1980s after more efficient production methods were developed (same source). I'll save my conspiracy theory on New Coke for a late time.

So this means that the above statement is patently false. To further back up that claim, I know taffy existed prior to 1950 and I know that one of taffy's ingredients is corn syrup. So that corn syrup prior to 1950 wasn't HFCS. I could find sources to back that up too, but it is rather basic intuition so we'll let that slide for now.

When I got home I decided just to cut to the chase and open up my copy of On Food and Cookingby Harold McGee. If you are a food geek enough that you need to know the science behind food, this book is a must have. This is another legit source. According to McGee, corn syrup was developed in the early 1800s and prior to that simple sugar syrup, malt extract or honey was used in candy production, with an unpredictable acid modification. So from 1850 to 1950, a period of 100 years, corn syrup was used in candy production and that is not relatively new.

And I finally learned that corn syrup is used in candy production to prevent sugar crystallization. I should have just started with McGee and not bothered surfing the Internet. I would have saved a lot of time.

But I did learn the Karo brand syrup, the number one brand sold in the world, is now a blend of regular corn syrup and HFCS. My wife said she could have told me that, "it tastes different now." I think the only way to get real corn syrup is to buy organic corn syrup.

Interesting side note. When we moved to Hell, the next town over was Cairo pronounced Karo and it was Home of the Fighting Syrupmakers so naturally we confused it with Karo but the syrup they are referring to is cane syrup not corn syrup.

<breathe>

Personally, I avoid HFCS if at all possible. I don't think it is as evil as some claim it to be, but I still think it is evil. You know, kind of like I thought we should invade Afghanistan not Iraq because there was more evil there than in Iraq and that Vladmir Putin really was nothing more than a punk dictator not a "man of character" because he was more evil than anyone from France. But I digress. And this ad campaign by the manufacturers REALLY infuriates me. Why? Because it is NOT safe in moderation because you almost cannot moderate the stuff. HFCS is EVERYWHERE. Just read labels. It's even in bread! Look, it's one thing if you don't think red meat is healthy (I do btw) but it is relatively easy to avoid red meat. But they put HFCS in everything to the point that sometimes there is no alternative. THAT I do have issue with. So I avoid it at all cost.

HFCS is actually one of the reasons I started cooking more, a lot more.

And don't get me started on the "same calories" claim.

Wow. This turned into more of a rant than I had expected. I don't even remember what the point was I was trying to make. Whoops. Oh well. Maybe I should make bread again.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Non Food Rant - #1

I can't believe it has taken this long.

Rant ON

I'm mad and I need a place to vent. Our fearsome leader today announced another, that's right #2, bailout for Citibank. Enough! Is anyone keeping track? I am:

$29B to JP Morgan/Bear Stearns - the FIRST time
$33B for IndyMac
$200B to Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac
$85B to AIG - the FIRST time
$38B to AIG - the SECOND time
$15B to Bank of America
$3B to Bank of New York
$25B to Citibank - the FIRST time
$10B to Goldman Sachs
$25B to JP Morgan - the SECOND time
$10B to Merril Lynch
$10B to Morgan Stanley
$2B to State Street
$25B to Wells Fargo PLUS this
$27B to AIG - the THIRD time
$6.6B to US Bank

That's almost 545 Billion Dollars right there. But wait there's more. There are another 20 or so banks that have gotten money that aren't in that list.

But wait there's more, the government has only spent half of the $700B bail out bill. $700 Billion??? I count $850 Billion. remember they had to add an additional $150 Billion dollars just to get people to vote to pass the $700 Billion bill. You know $200K to Rose City Archery, $192M to Puerto Rico for rum, $33M for American Samoa. Oh wait, I bet you didn't know.

I see a TRILLION DOLLARS and growing with a BIG Capital T.

Meanwhile, as we struggle to make ends meet along with nearly everyone else I know, all of our credit card companies raise interest rates, add fees and cut limits AND GET BILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM THE GOVERNMENT. And who the hell is going to pay for those BILLIONS of DOLLARS. When is the American People going to get a helping hand?

But I want to know one thing, why the F*(^ do we have to wait until the end of January for Obama to do something???? What the hell is Bush doing? I've held from day one that he is the WORST president we have ever had. CASE AND POINT.

Sorry.
Rant OFF.

I think I should probably go pound some schnitzel now.